OK, I can hear a lot of my readers think 'ew'. Don't be so silly.

I'm not writing this to make fun of anybody but the concept of webbed toes is definitely something that I've only ever come across in this country, never back home. I should probably write this in German as it's more interesting for a German to read than an English speaker who's most likely familiar with this concept. But no, writing in German is odd. Simply take this as a view from an outsider.

The first time I heard about webbed toes was about five to six years back in Holland where a friend from the UK told me that he couldn't wear sandals as his feet were just too ugly. I was curious to find out what he meant. He told me that he had feet that looked like something amphibian rather than human. Now I was really curious.

When I found out what he meant I made him show me his feet, only to find something that looked almost exactly like my feet. Big disappointment. What his so-called 'webbing' came down to was that the separation between the second and third toe (the ones next to the big one) was not quite as deep as the one for the big toe. But other than that the length of the smaller toes is perfectly normal. To me that's not webbing.

Next question that came to my mind was did I have ugly feet and didn't know about it? LOL. Actually, I don't think so. I like my feet.

OK, with that sorted out, let's get to what bothers me - a little.

Now that I knew what my disfigured friend meant I started noticing the odd comment about this condition on British TV shows. (Yeah, I probably watch strange shows.) I don't really think that the British population per se has more webbed toes than the German one. So it seems that this phenomenon seems to be a lot more present in the English psyche than in the German one (or is this becoming more unpopular there too)? On British TV as soon as somebody mentions this condition you can hear somebody go 'ew' as if webbed toes are something really disgusting. Come on, what is so horrible about a little bit of extra skin between toes? I can think of much worse things (use your own imagination please).

Apart from the fact that I don't like this reaction as I think it makes some people feel really uncomfortable, especially those who don't have good self esteem or people who suffer from a wrong body image (oh, I'm oh so PC), I'm starting to think that the British are quite squeamish when it comes to most things body related. Well, to be perfectly honest I had that suspicion from a very early time, when I was about 15 and my British exchange partner tended to lock herself in our bathroom for things that German girls most likely would do together - like styling your hair (just so you don't get wrong ideas). In terms of squeamishness I'm sure I could find a lot more examples, especially after going through ante-natal classes in this country, but I think I'll just leave it at this.

(And then the Brits have the audacity to think that Germans have an anal fixation. Pah!)

Bad thing is that living in the UK and hearing about stuff like that, affects me too and all these little insecurities about how I should behave creep into my mind. I'm watching myself very closely about whatever I'm saying when it comes to body related topics as I don't want to stick out as the a) unkempt, b) insensitive, and c) so very German German. Hard work as it goes quite a lot against my personality. I'm German after all.

Personally, profanity doesn't bother me much. I think it's just words and the value they have is attached by the listener/user. If you can't do a debate without using such words, this just means your debating style is really poor. And if children like to say words they shouldn't as they are taboo, it's usually because they sound interesting - well, not surprising really, as they are most of the time (if not always) used with a lot of stress! They stand out. No need to make a fuss, at this age (two) distraction is usually enough.

In some cases daddies teach their little ones these words - for example Frank. The other day I was in the supermarket and Yannick repeatedly said 'bollocks' with glee. He has no idea at all what this word means, he just likes the sound of it. To stop him I usually ask him to repeat other complicated sounding words, like 'abracadabra' or 'locomotive'.

There is one word that I cannot stop. It's the German word for digger. It's 'Bagger' which is pronounced exactly like 'bugger'. So if we are at a playground and there are toy diggers about you will hear both of us say 'Bagger' quite often. Tough luck.

'Dump truck' is another case of involuntary profanity. The first time I asked Yannick to say this in English, he had trouble with the 'tr' bit of 'truck' and said 'dumb fuck'. I thought it was hilarious.

I am utterly confused by this habit of the British people.

Everybody knows the Brits are driving on the left, while continental Europe is driving on the right. Back home in Germany I not only learned to drive on the right, but also to walk on the right. I always assumed that would be same here, meaning you drive on the left and walk on the left. Well, it doesn't seem like that.

I really don't care too much about this when I am out on my own, but whenever I am out with the pushchair and try to keep to the left there are people coming from the opposite direction who don't take any notice of me and that big ship: I have to move out of THEIR way. This really annoys me as the pushchair is quite heavy with Yannick in it and I would expect them to be a bit more considerate. But on top of that annoyance I have this niggling feeling that I simply don't understand the road rules properly. Can anybody enlighten me?

For a while now I have been following some blogs that post about life in Japan. You might have seen some of those links in my Blogroll section. I am absolutely fascinated and one day I will have to go to Japan as well and see for myself. I've always loved Japanese food so it would be worth just going for that, but of course there's a lot more to discover. Reading those blogs I've also seen a few TV spots that from my Westerner perspective seem very odd - and cruel. I guess you have to grow up in the culture to understand the humour in that. But occasionally I find something that I find very funny too, like Gaki no Tsukai via Undercover in Japan.

More information on Japanese TV can be found on TV in Japan.

The magazine Der Spiegel is compiling a Germany Survival Guide for visitors to Germanyin its English section . It might be needed.

There we have it, apart from not being a humourous nation, apparently Germans are not great on personal hygiene either:

A German in America / Reverse Culture Shock: from Germany to America / Interview with Regina Netterfield - Part 2

Even though I have lived away from Germany for nearly 14 years now, I never really noticed that we were a nation of uncleanly people, not even when going on public transport when I was back there on holidays. On the opposite, I think I noticed more BO problems outside of Germany working for an American company with employees from all over Europe. There is always somebody who has a bit of a BO problem, but that's not always a German… Or do I simply not notice slight BO because I am a stinky smelly German myself? I admit I love garlic!